Getting a D+ is Still Passing...

Just like my good friend Tom, I passed.

The Adventures of Nursing... or not.

So I am back today to speak of another first. Yes, this story is gross, and this story includes poo. Apparently I am like a magnet for disgusting poo stories. Let us begin...

My shift has barely begun, my student and I are just finishing up on charting an assessment when the call light rings. I answer: Can I help you? Response: Yes, we just need some help in the bathroom. "We'll be right there."

At this point I think calmly to myself, no problem. I can help this guy get off of the pot and back into bed. Even though this is not my patient. I am a nice guy like that. Big mistake.

I walk in to find the pt in the bathroom in the fetal position. This poor man has had a stroke in the past, rendering his left side basically worthless. This means that, as he is laying on his left side, he will needed to be lifted up as dead weight. Oh, and did I mention, there is poo EVERYWHERE. I'm talking floor, toilet seat, patient, tub, you name it.

I hop over the patient into the bathroom, slap some gloves on and, along with some help from a student (what a wonderful experience for her), lift this guy off of the floor onto the toilet seat so that we might begin the clean up process. It is times like these that I would rather be selling pest control solution for my friend in Virginia. See Pest Control VA for more details.

We get the patient onto the toilet and I look down to assess the damage. I see a pool of poo. I also see, to my horror, a large smear of his poo on my left leg. Yes, I have now been pooped on. Wow. I changed scrubs there and my soiled scrubs have since been detoxified. It took about 45 minutes to get all of the poo cleaned up from the bathroom and off of this guy.

So, those of you that are thinking, much like I did, that if you become a nurse you won't have to bother with crap like this, well...

Believe It!

Yes, you are jealous of me. I have been golfing. I snuck in a quick 9 before work. How did I celebrate this momentous occasion? Pre-round I made a trip to my favorite store... Uinta Golf. There I purchased my 2009 UGA Pass and an Odyssey White Steel 2 Ball SRT Putter. Believe it. My wife is already in panic mode as my addiction to golf and buying golf accessories has not subsided, but increased in my absence of playing the game.

The putter is great, by the way, especially if you remember the story of what happened to my first one. Needless to say, I won't be using this for anything but putting.

Why I Became a Nurse...

There is a first time for everything, as they say. Well, today I will not give you details of one of the tasks that are sometimes assigned to nurses. I will just tell you the name of one - Digital Stool Removal. Awesome? Not even close. Let the dry heaves begin. You're welcome.