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Before I get started I would like to apologize to all those that will be in Gilbert on Christmas Eve. This post involves cold and snow. Those in Gilbert this Eve will be either on the golf course or in the pool. Not a bad place to be.
I was going to wait until it snowed to post about this, but I am not patient enough. The clouds have been stingy as of late and I don't like it. I hate driving in the snow, but snow is good for a couple things. One of those is skiing. Now, whether we go to Alta or Brighton or wherever; and whether I ski or snowboard, doesn't matter. What does matter is that I am pumped and you all need to know it. Let me just list a few things I look forward to...
1)Getting like 2 inches of air off the "jump" on the bunny hill. That jump is so awesome.
2)Getting my face freeze burned by wind and powder as I ride the lifts. Awesome.
3)Eating like 4 meals worth of food in 10 minutes at lunchtime. Sandwiches and chips will always win.
4)The picture that your mom will no doubt take while everyone is standing there losing precious daylight.
5)Skiing in and out of the trees as quickly as my yellow belly and futile skills permit.
Just had to get this off of my chest. Call it my native American rain, errrr snow dance post.
War 40 days until I am on a mountain looking down and planning my route.
War 40 days 'til the fat man cometh.
Unwar finding coal in your stocking. Be good, be nice.
36 comments:
I will be the first to again let us all follow Casey's example of looking completly past thanksgiving and looking forward to christmas. Nice job Case. I think I might have to ski no matter what this year, I am still undecided, but If I want to have fun, I think that's what I'll do. War Casey's take on lunch. That's right on the money. War mom teaching us to ski by yelling "pizza" or "french fries". Unwar spoiled little rich kids that are like 7 that can ski way better then I will ever be able to. I also hate driving in the snow unless of course your in a big parking lot. But I love the snow as well. It just adds to the Christmas spirit. War Casey's comment of mom taking pictures while we waste like 20 minutes of time. That is so true! War the "biff king" Casey, help me out here.
Those little 7 year olds probably ski every day...and you have skied once a year for like 10 years....so I don't know why they would be better than you. My vote is for your mom to break out of her mold and try something new....a different resort. This way she will have like 500% more attendance from the family...Me, Sam, Kaitlyn, Keely, okay, maybe not 500% but I count for 2 or 3.
War me shredding the hills this Christmas season...oh and mom, you can ski at any of the resorts you know, Alta is just that one that discriminates against awesomeness...and don't allow it thus preventing themselves from being awesome.
War Tyson going skiing on Christmas Eve and taking Elyse (she would love it!!)
I so wish I was rich so I could take all of you skiing on Christmas Eve and about 5 other times during the year....wait...I would buy us all season passes! Tyson, you have to understand all that skiing at Alta means to me. I love it. So much bonding time there through my years. Part is from when I was little and Grandpa would take me out of school 1 day to ski there. But I really really want to ski with all of you and your wives. COuld we go to a snowboarding resort on Saturday before Christmas and then I could go on Christmas Eve to Alta? Amanda....if Tyson doesn't want to go and take Elyse...I will. Seriously, I would love to. Then she could say her grandma taught her how to ski. And Ashley and Sam and whoever, if you aren't going because of $, talk to me...I can find a stipend. Riley...I know who you call the Biff King. Maybe he is the one who likes Snickers in the bathtub.
Elyse is not stubborn at all, I am sure you would love teaching her how to ski.
So you are accepting the fact that you discriminate against those of us who prefer to Shred the hills rather than enjoy tea and crumpets on the way down?
Tea and Crumpets rock!
The biff king is classic old school skiing. I remember hating mom so bad for taking us on the actual run of sunnyside or whatever wussiest one was. Oh, the memories. I have since matured and now I just cuss. Just kidding, mother. Again, I have no preference as to where we go. I don't want to go on saturday though. I don't think that would be wise.
That last comment was missing something. I remember bawling all the way down the hill. Ya. A bit immature, but... I think we got right back on the lift and did it again without real problems.
amen, plus I would like to miss work, I say on a friday, or somthing to extend our weekend. I would actually prefer alta. Just because I know that place, and I dont think i wil get any better at snowboarding without going more then once a year. But, I will do whatever. Both places will be fun. I vote on taking walky talkies agina this year, thus eliminating the always crappy "meet me at the bottom" method. Then you wait for like 5 minutes, not knowing if you are agead or behind the people you are with.
Tea and crumpets Tyson? Ok. I challenge you to ski with me, go where I go and keep up...and stay upright on your skiis. I dare you...I double dog dare you.
You will be bawling like Casey.
Your mom skiis.
Watch out Tyson! She goes only on well groomed, highly visible, high traffic areas! What's virign snow?!
I wouldnt be too scared tyson, as the pain of trying to keep up will only last 30 seconds as the bunny hill is not that long. you might even beat mom just sliding on your can with snowpants.
I will accept your challenge, as I know that even with my inferior skiing skills, I will never let my mom beat me down the hill.
If you chance upon a miracle and beat me, then we move to round 2 and I challenge you to keep up with me on a snowboard. Oh wait, you are scared to even go to the same mountain as snowboarders...maybe you could sit in the lodge and sip hot cocoa with Ri-Bone while I shred the hills...
Round 3, extreme sledding. I would kill all of you. I have many a tales with my sledding experiences, many of which I know you would not do. For they go the complete oppisite way as common sense, and safety do, but that's why it's extrme sledding. Stories will be another time, here's just the first 2 that come to mind....
1- Have you been pulled behind a car on a sled at highway speeds?
2- Have you nearly broken your sacrum/coccx (spelling colby) from sledding off a roof?
Tyson, about my hot chocolate, when it's ski time, it's ski time. I reserve hot chocolate for like everynight at my house. Dont be jeliouse just becasue I have like 12 different flavors in my possesion right now.
Unwar hot chocolate that's too hot, and burn my tougne, asaphagus, and guts on the way down. War 1 cup of hot chocolate to 1/3 cup marshmallows.
By the way, the mini mallows are the best.
Ri-Bone, I feel the need to inform you that you are forgetting who you learned all of your reckless behavior from. Me. I was bff's with Bennett, okay, and we had peirced ears. That means we did all sorts of shiz that would make you pee in your pants just thinking about. So when you are grown up enough to talk about real extreme stuff, come talk to me, until then, stay in the kindergarten playground, and leave the monkey bars to the big boys.
I cannot believe you actually think that you are the only one to be pulled behind a truck at highway speeds. Seriously. Off a roof, I would let Elyse go off the roof....I bet you did it somewhere into a 10 ft high snow drift, making your fall a mere 2 feet. Someone call Steve-O quick.....not.
War the clique having access to 5 4-wheel drive vehicles at all times. yep 5.
War nobody's mother except mine EVER wondering where we were.
(Even though we did some crazy shiz, Dr. P is the only one of us to ever steal a car).
For the record, I think that I am the best because I was NEVER caught doing any of it...
Ri-Bone...you are a felon.
C-Hub, never dared go out past his curfew.
Dr. P. I still laugh even thinking about you stealing that car and asking BB to teach you how to drive a stick.
For the record, I do not have a record, so I was not caught. I did not ask BB to teach me how to drive a stick, I merely tried the ignition, it was dead, so I quit. Then BB, a more experienced thief was able to start the "taxi", I was merely sticking to the buddy system and not allowing myself to be out past curfew alone. Besides, and the statute of limitations is up. I was however caught vandalizing school property with vanilla twist ice cream. So I guess I am the only Hard A$$ here in the blungle.
Beat that C-Hub, the only thing you've ever done is think about swearing once.
Correction: you did get caught busting your nose on a pool table if I recall correctly. That is some serious shiz that I don't want any part of. How did I break my nose? Football - flag, but still. How did Riley break his nose? Basketball. How did Tikes break his nose? Hide and seek in the dark. You are right... I was never out past curfew playing dress up with Bennett (pierced ears and all).
On another note...
I think mom's double dog dare to Tyson was her way of double dog begging to get everybody to ski. Props are given to her as she is still alive, but Riley and I never waited for her. It's all about the speed baby. I am going to venture that Tikes holds his own on the slopes. Sorry mother. The pupils you taught just surpassed the master. It happens.
ps I also have a friend M.H that has nailed a U-county sherrif car with a water balloon. My friends are lucky not to be in jail right now.
I am starting to think that I was a little more lax than you guys. There were a couple times we got chased by some cops, but I never thought I was worthy to get a tat of a tear.
The previouse entry had to be edited. It did contain most of this though....
Okay, you want to talk about sweet things that we never got caught for, (for this particular event my own turned against me, but that doesn't count) after they found out who's windsheild I broke with a water balloon. Yes, a windshield with a water ballon. That's called a cannon for an arm, mixed with high velocity. Then, who's felon training kicked in as he outran the pissed off skater punk pizza delivery guy that was 19 years old at the time. You think he gave up easily. No, its skills baby. There are other things that cant be mentioned on this blog, as again, I was like a chamilion as was never caught. Also, the sledding was at 65 MPH behind a truck, which then I had to bail out due to the truck losing control, and a car coming toward us. The sledding off the roof, was off the Walls roof, and it was like 2 inches of snow, that I thought would break my fall. No, it didn't, that was why I was the first and last to do it, And I couldnt' sit down for like 2 weeks. Let us not forget who's name is Ri-Bone. It's not Ri-wussy boy, it's Ri-bad to the Bone. Also, for more clarification, the first time I broke my nose was in football, and it broke like 4 more times that year, did I go to the doctor, no, did I contenue to play in that practice, yes, did I look like a freak show, also yes. If you ladies want to take a timeout from eating ground up pears from your high chairs my neighbor is getting his tazer gun in a couple weeks. I have already asked him to tazer me, to feel what it's like. He has agreed. That's if you all want to.
Riley why in the crud would you want to be tazered??!!
Correction: RI-Bone, you had to perform like 200 hours of community service for being caught in the act of destroying a public school. You are therefore disqualified, as you DO have a record. So, Ri-Bone should maybe have his name permanantly changed to Smiley Riley, or Ri-Felon.
If he does tazer you, I want to be there with the video camera. Do NOT do this without me.
I second that motion, If he gets it before thanksgiving I will be there. DO NOT do this without me if he has this weapon. Besides, someone has to be there to do chest compressions while C-hub does mouth to mouth after you go into cardiac arrest.
war Team awesome playing Jack A$$ with Ri-enthal J. Simpson.
Boom! Rack me i'm ooot!
Laughing at the thought of Riley getting tazered or even wanting to get tazered. I mean Not that it would be funny or anything. Why, Why, Why??? would you do that to yourself.
Because he is Ri-Soft
Ya, I think that both Riley and I would rather watch Riley's body twitch in agony rather than doing any mouth to mouth. That's just not right. Amanda doesn't know how funny her comment was unless she was implying that Riley would screech like Nancy after Tanya's bodygaurd bashed her knee in.
I think that is a coincedence, but still funny, I thought the same thing C-Hub.
Casey, thank you, if my heart stopped beating, do the chest compressions, but if that doesn't work, i'd rather die then wake up to you trying to make out with me. Please, it's not worth it. About the tazer, what.... am I the only one that has wondered what that would feel like? for real? Remind me sunday and I will forward the story about the man getting tazered in his private areas. Hilariouse! My name will be still ribone, and nothing else will take that place unless it is ri-electracution. but that's to long, so it stays bone.
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