Now Hold On...

My fellow Americans...

Wow. That came out wrong. I have gone and edited the previous post. I have added a bit of explaination. For some reason I feel that the damage has been done and deleting the entire thing will not really undo anything, so... it is what it is. I blame the media. Even my wife threw me under the bus. I applaud team awesome for their swift and decisive disses. I would expect nothing less. My only wish is that I could have somehow been on the attack instead of getting, truly, murdered by text.

Right now I am trying to imagine your (Dr. P, Tikes, and Ri-Bone) faces the next time I see you all. I can imagine you laughing and me standing there like... uh... ya... you know what I meant. This is going to suck for a long, long time.

Caution: Extreme Disgust Ahead...

Lies, deception, deceit, filth, imposterness, poserness, and grossness. They are all adjectives for Wendy's new spicy barfinator. It was that bad. You all know that I am in love with the Jalapeno Burger from Carl's Jr. and that I love a little spice between my [hamburger] buns (on the way in (my mouth) - not on the way out [my butt - pooping flames]- OK, OK, I know what you are all thinking or have thought (and commented) about. What I said, in not so many words, was I like spicy hamburgers. I like to eat hamburgers with jalapenos on them. They are spicy and the meat and jalapenos are between hamburger buns. I do not like to poop fire. Therefore, I like spice (spicy hamburgers) in my mouth - I don't like spice on the way out (As Dr. P) commented on his blog - it sucks when your pooping molten hot lava = anyway.... So I am always on the lookout to prove that the JB from Carl's is the best. It has once again been proven.

Why did I wait so long to try the spicy grease glob burger? I tried the original baconator many moons ago and nearly died from atherosclerosis. My arteries were clogged 35% within 5 minutes. Even I thought that it was too much bacon. Did I finish it? Of course, but I will never try it again. So with the past experience I was very hesitant to try the new one. But the temptation was too strong. I succumbed. The fall was great indeed, my friends.

The bun was soggy with grease. No joke. The jalapenos were just hot. No taste - I HATE that - all it means is low quality jalapenos. How dare they?! The kicker is that they put this sauce on it that has no business being on a burger or anything that is going to come in contact with the human tongue or near the chemo receptors in the nasal passage. I only say this to let you all know that if you go to Wendy's in the near future, the only things worth your moolah are the JBC, Spicy Chicken, and the taco salad. That is pretty much it. Again, did I finish it? Yes. But I didn't like it.

Just Don't Pull a Memphis...

The end is in sight. I can almost taste its deliciousness. That is right. I finished writing my last paper today. I cooped myself up at the UVSC (soon to be UVU if they haven't crammed it down your throat already) library at got 'er done. It ended up a 26 page monster about Pancreatitis. My advise to you is this: don't drink your liver and pancreas away. It will hurt, burst, and bleed internally everywhere. You will get an infection, respiratory problems, or develop some other complication and die. Just an FYI. So tomorrow is my last clinical and the final is on the 22nd. Yes, that is only a mere 15 days from now. I know that you are as pumped as I am. My scholarly goal has now morphed from "Study and get good scores" to "just don't choke it away, dude."

Guitar Hero and Golf... get ready 'cause I'm coming for you.

And Ashley and Tyler - I am looking forward to being home a bit more, too.

Clinical Update...

For those of you who don't know - that is an IV syringe. That is what health care professionals and health care not so professionals get to poke you with whenever we find it necessary. Pretty sweet, huh? I was in the ER for my clinical today - don't worry - no bloody trauma stories. I did, however, go a perfect 3 for 3 on IV insertions. Yes, I was en fuego. I did my first before shift change for Pete's sake - talk about walking in ready to roll. It was awesome. There is nothing quite like seeing the blood flush back into the syringe. It's a beautiful thing.

Also of note - we had a lottery type thing last time in class and we picked where we would do our preceptorship or mini residency type deal for clinical next year. I got my #1 choice - Mt. View Hospital ICU. I was pretty excited about that. Hopefully by the time I become a nurse in December I will be competent enough to help people more than hurt them. Baby steps...