Welcome to the 1700's...

Ok, I have been compelled to post about this. I am doing this not from home, but from another computer. Why? All in good time…

I would like to start out by thanking one of my good friends Benjamin Franklin. After all, he is credited for discovering electricity. Without him I would not be able to watch television, play XBOX, blog, stay cool in the summer, or do many other things that require electricity.

I always thought that electricity would be there for me. Many of you know that Ashley and I have not always lived out in the boonies. We once lived in the middle of a city filled with springs, it was a good time. We were there for a bit more than 3 years. The electricity went out on us once. It sucked. However, it was nothing compared to what I would later have to later endure after moving to far, far away.

We have now been in our current residence for about 8 months. Now, take a guess at how many times the electricity has gone out. Go ahead… 3? 4? No. Six. Six freaking times. It is ridiculous. The latest time this happened (before today – that is why I am posting from somewhere other than my house - no electricity) I was playing FIFA. I thought, ‘ok, no big deal, I’ll just turn on the TV and see… er, well, maybe I’ll just go check the blogs… er.’ Then I start to panic. What am I supposed to do for entertainment? Read? Play with Tyler? Go for a walk? Don’t be crazy. Every time it happens feel like I live in the 1700’s. We have to find and light some candles and some lamps and wait until the problem is fixed.

Of course, I exaggerate. The problem is usually fixed in a relatively timely manner. I just can’t believe that it happens so often. What is going on here?

Anyway, I had to let you all know. There are benefits of living far away from the freeway, far away from grocery stores, far away from golf courses, and far away from civilization. Just a fair warning to you all – you will also be far away from electric efficiency.

Well, I guess that answers that question...

What question, you ask? The last one I asked myself on the previous post. Seriously. I am going to go look for some super glue. For the record - the week they lasted was great.

Corneal Warming...

My fellow Americans,

I post today about the latest and possibly greatest global threat out there. What could that be, you ask? I will tell you one thing that is NOT a threat - global warming. Global warming doesn't even exist, but that will have to wait. The real threat is called corneal warming.

It all started yesterday. I was in Delta doing some work as the sun beat down relentlessly. I think the temp. got up to like 88 degrees. I know - but wait - it gets worse... after I was done with the work that had to be done (finish your chores and then you can play), I found it appropriate to test out the local golf course. For those of you who are wondering - it was not wonderful (don't believe what you read online, 'some of the best fairways and greens in the state' my butt). Anyway, the sun continued to beat down. I then headed home and found it appropriate to hit the links again. This time at Gladis and Stanley's. The back 9. It was sweet, but not really cold. After that, I played in 2 softball games. Of course we won both. So, it was a pretty awesome day. By the way - after all that - my wife still loves me, I asked her.

So by the end of the day I felt as if the sun had personally picked me to torment and torture. Rays of the sun, which usually heat the entire planet were focused solely on me, and in particular, my corneas. I got home and asked Ash if she would perform minor ophthalmic surgery on my left eye. I had a trifecta of problems. 1- corneal warming had burned my eyeballs. 2- I had an inverted eyelash. 3- light colored eyes (blue) are more sensitive to light. Although I have a built in brim on my skull (Ri-bone knows what I mean - the protruding brow) it's not quite enough to shield my eyes. So my eyes are already preheated to the point that I am worried that my aqueous humor is about to boil, melt away my corneas from the inside, ooze down my face, and scar me for life. On top of that I have this pesky inverted eyelash that is scraping off layer by layer of sclera.

Thanks to Ash, I made it through the night to see another day. I then decided that it was time to fight back in the war of corneal warming. How much was I willing to sacrifice? What is the price that I was willing to pay to protect myself and my eyes from this epidemic? $5.38 at Wal-mart. 100% UV protection never looked, or felt so good.

Note: Those of you living in Arizona, New Mexico, or other states in which the temp is already 115 and above - you may want to wear you shades inside. You will get double the protection and you will be freaking hard at the same time.

Note 2: I payed $5.38 for my shades - what is the difference between the plastic on my sunglasses and the plastic on sunglasses that cost like 100-200 bones? I don't get it...

Sorry to do this...

but even I am tired of seeing that same post each time I've checked your blog--it's getting old.

Honey, next time you want to pick up that Wii paddle or the XBOX controller think of your lonely blog and that the blungle is missing you.

And yes, I remembered your sign in. Love you!