OK, so I had clinical again today. Yes, you will hear all about my clinical as my usual day consists of driving to work - driving around - and driving home. So anyway...
Here we are at the nurses station (most of the ladies) are gabbing about making "cute" things for their babies (3 pregnant nurses on the floor - holy moley J-Stew). Anyway, a call light turns on and the phone rings. Since it is one of our patients, the nurse picks it up, "May we help you? ... Ok, we'll be right in." I inquire "what's up?" She says, "she (the patient) needs some help getting to her bed from the bathroom". I think, no problem, help her get across the tiny little room, sit, and then lay down, adjust the bed, we are in and out in 30 seconds. Boy was I wrong.
My first clue as to how wrong I was happened as my nurse opened the door to the patients room. Did I see something out of the ordinary? No. Did I hear anything that would alarm me? No. Did I smell a stench so strong that it brought back thoughts of Jurassic Park 3 looking for a cell phone in a pile of dinosaur poo as if I were bobbing for apples? Yes. It was bad. I knew at that moment that we were in for it.
At this point we are 2 feet inside the door and the patient matter of factly says "I didn't make it". I take 3 more steps and peer into the bathroom... There is poo all over the toilet seat. Seriously all over. It was gross. But wait - there is more. There was poo all over the wall and all over the floor. How it actually got there remains a mystery. All I know is that the patient was promptly escorted directly into the shower to be sprayed off. It was all over the bed as well. So... you can take it from there. By the way - the patient had milk of magnesia a little earlier than when our shift started - she had diarrhea all shift long. Awesome. Welcome to nursing.
Ok, now for a second story. Yes. A second one. I get home and all is going great. I decide just before dinner that I will play with T-slob for a bit. I pick him up and put him up on my shoulders piggy-back and flip him over and what not. After a while I put him on my head and shake my head back and forth real fast in the act of tickling him. All is well, until... I pull him off the top of my head and he kinda rubs against my face. His shorts are a bit wet.
I think fast... oh no - did he spill some water or sit in some spilled water? He did just take a bath... or even worse - he may have peed through his diaper. I voice my concern to Ashley. She comes over as I am holding slobs at arms length. Ash checks his diaper. She finds that poo has exploded out the left leg hole of his diaper and down to his ankle, soaking his shorts. That's right. I had poo juices on my face. Welcome to parenthood.
8 comments:
Maybe your patient and Addie ought to meet each other. Sorry Casey. That's life. I'm sure that patient felt bad. I hope I die before I am so old that I can't take care of my own bathroom duties. I don't want my kids blogging about helping me.
Hub....that was sweet for me to read....in my office where there is no chance that I will ever be asked to come and clean up that sort of mess. Often times, I opt to give Lukey a shower rather than attempt to clean him off with 85 wipes......
Now do you realize why it was that I tried so hard to be in anesthesia school as soon as it was absolutely humanly possible? Nursing is what it is. sometimes it is nice to talk about kids at the nurses station, it gives you a break from the relief society talk-at least in provo, at the U, never a dull moment.
No, relief society talk was going on in the break room. That is not a joke.
Yes, I do understand.
I loved this post! I am a big fan of bathroom humer. I will not lie. That lady with the exploding rectum full of feces made my day. I'm glad she wiped it everywhere on her way as well. Also, did you tell her "thanks" for the heads up that "she didn't make it"
You never answered one of my burning questions. Did you merely "watch" as you are still in training or did you actually participate in the wiping of the adult poop from the bed, walls, toilet, ect?
Did your car stink on the way home?
Casey, I remember the days! You will soon see the light.
Post a Comment