The Spirit of the Blog Like a Fire is Burning...

Is there anything that the blog can't do? I don't think so. A quick example...

Last week I gave the lesson in Elders quorum. It just so happened to be my first time teaching in Elders quorum ever. It also happened to be ward conference. It just so happened that the stake president was there for the lesson. And it just so happened to be the first time I have given a lesson on a conference talk. The talk was Elder Eyring's "O Remember, Remember" that he just gave this last conference in October. It is he speaks of writing things down to remember them. What do I do? The stake President is there, it is my first time, the pressure is mounting... where can I go? What can I do?

When suddenly, like a flash of light from the sky, I think - THE BLOG! That is right, I talked about how we should all have blogs and how awesome they are and how awesome my blog is and how everyone awesome I know has a blog that is almost as awesome as mine. Yep. I really did.

Mom, don't worry. I talked about other spiritual stuff too, but I even brought a quote from the blog. Tikes - it was part of your 'blogamony' thanks for that. It was sweet.

By the way... you may be wondering what the President's reaction was to all of this... well... after the lesson he asked me, "So, how permanent is a blog?"

Let me translate for you --- I am converted to the power of the blog and want a piece of that sweet action.

War the blogs coming through in the clutch. War blogs being a good and being nice. War me preaching blogs in ward conference and getting away with it.

Uh...

As you all know, I have been slacking in my posting lately. My only excuse is that I have not bought a new paper towel dispenser to tell you all about. I will now attempt to do what Ashley and Sam have done and tell you some things that you might not know about me... I only do this because I feel it an obligation to keep my blog from decaying in front of our eyes. I can not promise 10 things. I think I will be lucky to get 5. Here we go...

1. I like to curl my pinky toes over my rings toes. I don't know why or how it started - and I can't explain it any better than that. It kinda bugs Ashley, but I like it.

2. Since we are all talking about weird TV shows - If nothing really good is on (I can't believe I am going to type this), I will watch MTC Cribs and LA Ink. I have even watched London Ink... and liked it. Do I have a problem? Cribs is a sweet show... I saw TO's house the other day - Holy. And Richard Branson's... Ridiculous. He has his own Island.

3. I am a mostly Blue personality type, I think. I can't really remember. But, I do know that my personality type is more like Homer Simpsons than any other character in that show - I took the test. My wife's most closely matches Mr. Flanders... figure that one out.

4. Weird hats drive me crazy - why would anybody wear something that looks like a smashed top hat? Who decided that those were fashionably acceptable? Why don't those people just move to England?

5. I love Mtn. Dew Code Red. I am not addicted, but that is only because fast food joints don't have it. If they did - I would be done for.

6. My fave Pizza flave is Supreme without the Olives. Meat Lovers comes in a close second.

7. I have reached the point now that when I see boys wearing girl clothes, like at school, I just laugh at them.

8. The first time I saw an IV started, I nearly passed out.

9. I enjoy watching Soccer... as long as it is either an International game (USA vs. Mexico or the World Cup, for example) or European.

10. I don't get hockey - or Canada.

There you have it. Fell free to poke fun, as you do so well. I got nothin' to hide.

This will make you laugh...

REACTION!

So this bum is getting audited by the IRS. He doesn't have a job, but drives this nice car and lives in a nice house. Anyway - the bum ends up in the agent's office. The IRS agent says to him, "our records show that you make around $300,000 a year, what is the deal?" "Well, I'm a gambling man" replies the bum, "in fact, I'll prove it to you. I'll bet you 10 grand that I can kiss my own teeth." "No one can do that - you're on." says the agent. The bum then takes out his dentures and kisses them. "See, easy as that - I'll bet you another 10 grand that I can kiss my own eye." "No one can do that - you're on." says the agent. The bum then takes out his glass eye and kisses it. At this point the agent is starting to get a bit flustered. "OK, last one. Double or nothing. I'll bet you another 20 grand that I can pee in that mug from right here." The bum points over at a cup that is on a bookshelf on the other side of the agent's desk. The thing is like 15 feet away. The agent looks at the bum, then looks at the mug, thinks about it and says, "there is no way that you can do that. You're on." So sure enough the bum starts peeing all over this IRS agent's office. All over his desk, on the floor, the wall, anything he can reach - but not the cup. So the agent looks and the bum and asks "What were you thinking? You just lost 20 grand!"

"Ya, but I bet my lawyer 50 grand that I could come in here and piss all over your desk, and that you would be happy about it."

So there you go. A nursing buddy told us that one the other day during a break and I have been sharing the love ever since. By the way - not a lot going on in our neck of the woods. My smoking hot wife chopped her hair off. It is now near shoulder length. Yep, she is smoking hot. Also, I learned about shock in class the other day. Pretty interesting. Side note: if you are in shock - go to the emergency room or you will die.

On to some other not so good news - Tyler's top teeth are making their way down... really slowly. Not awesome. And is anybody else ready for the Patriots to just win the freaking Superbowl already so we can move on? I am so sick of Tom Brady this, Randy Moss that. That concludes my rant.

War Roger "the Rocket" Clemens being found guilty. That guy needs to be kicked in the groin... well... we all know the side effects of those steroids.

HAVE I GIVEN YOU ENOUGH TO TALK ABOUT? THIS IS YOUR SHOW! TAKE IT OVER!

The 3 B's...

What are the 3 B's, you ask? Bears, Beets, Battlestar Gallactica? No, in fact the 3 B's refer to Brewers, Braves, and Boo-ya. These 2 hats arrived this morning from Santa Claus. I had nothing to do with the selection but was pleasantly surprised on Christmas morning with a photo and a note that they were on their way. I now own one of the pieces of clothing needed for the August trip to the sun-scorched land of Arizona. Better late than never, I say.

Look out, Lance Armstrong...

So, I first must apologize on my lengthy vacation from posting. I apologize, but I do not promise to get better. School started today. Oh the joy. My instructor told us all to go home, and tell our significant others, that for the next 3 weeks - they would pretty much be on their own. Not awesome. But that is not the point.

You all know that I have put on a few lbs. I am not really embarrassed about the fact. I let the entire world know that I can barely put a pair of pants on that I bought 3 years ago. This post is about my die hard quest to lose those pounds.

It all started 8 days before the annual PHS Alumni tournament... I was thinking about how the last time I exercised was before Tyler was born and how the last time I had touched a basketball was around that same time. I then decided that I needed to do two things.

1. Start exercising, and

2. Play an actual game of basketball before the tournament started.

It was the Tuesday before Christmas. I called a friend to see if they still played ball Tue. nights. He said yes, I said I would be there because of the reason stated above. I truly intended to play.

I then decided that I should at least walk on the treadmill to evaluate my out-of-shapeness. I ran/jogged for about 30 minutes. I was so proud of myself (and tired) that I didn't go play that night. I then told myself that I would run each night up to the tournament.

The tournament came --- # of times I had run on the treadmill since the first time? - yep. 0.

However, I felt ok in the tournament. I didn't die. I again was so proud that I actually exercised. Ok, on to today. I got home and decided that I would run again. I was motivated by the want to listen to my newly acquired "Boys Like Girls" CD. It worked. I ran/walked for about 30 minutes again - it was a pretty good workout.

Now, I ask of you, my fellow Americans, (if you are not American you do not fully understand the laziness, therefore, you are excluded, sorry) how long is it going to take me to lose those unwanted pounds on my new "Once a month" running program? I think Peyton was right.