Thursday, February 21, 2008

Better Cover Up Your Keyboard...



I don't want you to drool all over and get the keys all wet. Yes, the Jalapeno Burger from Carl's Jr. is the best burger out there. It is a perfect concoction of bun, beef, and fixins. These include lettuce, tomato, onion, jalapenos, pepper jack cheese, and Santa Fe sauce. Can it get better than that? No. I have tried. I have searched far and wide for the best fast-food burger out there and I am here to crown the champion. There you have it.

For those of you that are worried about your tongues exploding from just the mention of jalapenos - do not fear. The Santa Fe sauce (I believe) has mayo in it. Now since I have a fair amount of experience with the combination of mayo and peppers I will share with you. When you mix mayo and peppers on a sandwich, the mayo dulls the spicy right out the pepper and you get the luscious flavor of the jalapeno. It is so good. Is there a kick? Yes, however, it is very slight. You can handle it.

I choose not to go into detail about what happens or how it feels when your large intestine is through absorbing the nutrients from the jalapeno burger. I will warn you that the mayo no longer has the effect of dulling the spice. But, it is still worth it.

There you have it. My ode to Carl's Jr. and their best burger. I think I average 2.6 of these bad boys a week. All you need to order is: Double Jalapeno Burger Combo -- medium size -- Dr. Pepper. That will be the best $7.29 you ever spent. You're welcome.

By the way - I like the Double Jalapeno Burger the best, but here is the nutritional info for the Six Dollar Jalapeno Burger: Calories - 1010, Carbs - 52 grams, Protein - 39 g, Fat - 72 grams, Saturated Fat - 26 grams, Cholesterol - 150 mg, and Sodium - 2070. Roughly that means two things: 1) for every burger you eat, you lose 10 months off your life, and 2) they are freaking good.

17 comments:

Unknown said...

If I do the math right, with the 1010 calories that they are, that means that you need to eat two in order to fulfill the daily 2000 calorie diet that is recommended right? I do agree that life is much better with a little spice in it, ironic that I was scorned with my ode to jumbalaya yet jalepenos are o.k? can you say double standard?

war spicy stuff in the upper GI tract.
unwar spicy stuff in the lower GI tract.

Riley Alexander said...

Although I haven't been on such a soul searching event like this for the best lunch burger. I will say their breakfast is ruler on high. I love their breakfast burger. I love to eat their breakfast burger. I dream of their breakfast buger. In my dream I eat their breakfast burger. I never have, or never will share one.

Riley Alexander said...

Unwar spicy anything

Hub said...

I believe that you are mis-remembering. Tikes was the one that scorned you and called your dish jumbagrossness when I agreed that jumbalaya is quite tasty. I do break out in a sweat whenever spicy foods are involved in my meal. I guess that eating spicy food helps me lose weight by both sweating off water and cleaning out the bowel. Ri-Habanero, come to the spicy side. You will not regret it.

Hub said...

That goolash was dang good! How can you not like tomato sauce, hamburger, and corn all mixed up with whatever else was in it? I can't believe you didn't like that stuff. Better than the asparagus that we had to go hunting for. That stuff probably had all sorts of nasty bacteria from their water source. That stuff is gross.

Unknown said...

How dare you compare jumbalaya to gool-osh! that stuff was no where near as awesome. no offense mom, but it could be called goo-leftovers or goo-foodthatdoesnttastegoodtogether. hamburger and corn? seperate maybe together no, pasta and corn? no, corn and tomato sauce? no. corn alone? maybe. goo-lasche or whatever is like mixing tuna and ketchup or pizza and mayonaise or fish. Its like yankee fans and braves fans together. not good. jumbalaya, however, is food that compliments each other perfectly. Pasta with a tomato sauce, shrimp, chicken, and a nice spicy sausage with a cajun kick. that spells delish.

Hub said...

I vote that we hit up that place come vacation time. I am sure that in August I will be dying to eat spicy food while hiding from the 120 degree heat.

Ashley said...

so sweetie you're willing to shave off 10 months of your life just for a "good" tasting burger?! hmmm. I'll consider myself informed.
About gow much time do we have left together because you eat there at least once a week.

Ashley said...

gow = how.

Unknown said...

We will absolutely hit up Bolero's Grill in Aug. Bring 9.99 and a tissue to wipe your nose as the histamine levels may reach uncontrollable levels during your meal. yum.

Riley Alexander said...

Ash get some life insurance. Me and spicy food are like oil and water. Never have never will get along. I decided to try spicy food again one time When me and Sam were dating we tried out that tia place on main. Yeah, my food was really hot. I was sweating more then after a 100 mile marathon run, following by a basketball game. I drank my water, sams water, the picture on the table, and still, that was not enough. Later my bowels put in their two cents. I almost used baby powder when I was done.

Unknown said...

I can just picture Ri-tucks jumping butt first into a cold bowl of milk bareback style just to cool the burn from the spicy exit. that is funny.

Riley Alexander said...

Some mistakes you only make once.

Tikes said...

I pictured Ri-bone using the tablecloth to lesson the sting

Your Mom said...

You guys make me laugh so hard. Thank you. It sounds like this trip to Arizona is going to have to be extended to 2 weeks to accomplish everything that gets talked about, from baseball to team awesome competitions to eating.

Tikes said...

Eating does take a lot of time...

Riley Alexander said...

Who is the pro of ice showers? That would be me. Let me explain...

Everymorning before school I would sacrfice hot water in the shower because I couldn't wake up.

My pink panther skin tone has never nor will ever be tan. Thus my cycle has been white, pink, red, peel, white. In the middle of the stage of red I still had to shower. Since hot water and 2 degree burns hurt, I took ice cold showers.

So, when my "orfice" also had 2nd degree burns from tia food that I never should have eaton in the first place. You better belive I just turned the knob all the way to the right.

I got out when my lips were blue.