So I am back today to speak of another first. Yes, this story is gross, and this story includes poo. Apparently I am like a magnet for disgusting poo stories. Let us begin...
My shift has barely begun, my student and I are just finishing up on charting an assessment when the call light rings. I answer: Can I help you? Response: Yes, we just need some help in the bathroom. "We'll be right there."
At this point I think calmly to myself, no problem. I can help this guy get off of the pot and back into bed. Even though this is not my patient. I am a nice guy like that. Big mistake.
I walk in to find the pt in the bathroom in the fetal position. This poor man has had a stroke in the past, rendering his left side basically worthless. This means that, as he is laying on his left side, he will needed to be lifted up as dead weight. Oh, and did I mention, there is poo EVERYWHERE. I'm talking floor, toilet seat, patient, tub, you name it.
I hop over the patient into the bathroom, slap some gloves on and, along with some help from a student (what a wonderful experience for her), lift this guy off of the floor onto the toilet seat so that we might begin the clean up process. It is times like these that I would rather be selling pest control solution for my friend in Virginia. See Pest Control VA for more details.
We get the patient onto the toilet and I look down to assess the damage. I see a pool of poo. I also see, to my horror, a large smear of his poo on my left leg. Yes, I have now been pooped on. Wow. I changed scrubs there and my soiled scrubs have since been detoxified. It took about 45 minutes to get all of the poo cleaned up from the bathroom and off of this guy.
So, those of you that are thinking, much like I did, that if you become a nurse you won't have to bother with crap like this, well...
6 comments:
You should have pawned it off on the student. Hello! Not my patient, not my problem. That is my own personal motto, words to live by my friend.
it probably wasn't embarrassing to the old man either.
Hub, in your defense, I think you get special blessings in heaven for doing stuff like that.
I am proud of you as my brother.
Now you can say you have been pooped on by a 1 year old... and a 50 year old. That'll show all the other parents out there who's hardcore
I have been there, although I have now blocked all remaining memories and they are unrecoverable. This is quite the motivation to go forward with anesthesia school is it not?
Wow... Sounds fun Hub... Take P's advice fast.
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