As yet another golf season is coming to a close, and a Christmas season is fast approaching (less than 1 month until the celebrations begin), I need some closure. I think it necessary to ‘come clean’ about my secret bout with OCD.
It all started around 2 months ago, I was in prime golfing shape, and I was going 3-4 times a week. It was an addiction that could not be quenched. Many of you know that I am not really good at the sport I so love, therefore, I was losing a lot of golf balls. Usually what I would do when this happened was go the Wal-Mart (they got your back) and buy some used Titliest golf balls that would last me another couple weeks.
I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but I was on the course, and I was running low. I thought to myself, “I can just buy some more, no big deal” but I continued, “or I could just look for some in the weeds and scrub oak where I have lost so many and then I could use the money I would have spend on balls, and buy another round.” I committed then and there. I was not going to buy another ball.
I had always thought that if I lost a ball that I would go look for it and find an extra, thus preserving my count and adding to it. But I kind of had a mental break at that time. It was on hole 8 at the local course. I hit one into the really rough stuff to the west of the green. I parked the cart and headed in. I found my ball and others, I kept looking, and something snapped. I couldn’t stop. It was addicting, I not only searched there, but on the other side of the fairway. By the end of my search of around 20 minutes (luckily it was not busy that day), I had nearly 40 golf balls. Ya, it was on.
Not only was my addiction changed from playing to looking for balls, but I had to clean and categorize each individual ball. My wife can attest that I should have taken some anti psychotic meds. Don’t believe me? I can prove it. Here is my current inventory of golf balls by brand…
64 – Titliest
56 – Top Flight
30 – Callaway
26 – Nike and Maxfli/Noodle (52 total – 26 each)
11 – Precept
8 – Taylormade, Wilson, and Dunlop (8 each)
7 – Pinnacle
5 – Alien
3 – Slazenger
2 – Srixon
10 – Colored balls (red, blue, yellow, etc… these don’t really count)
10 – Random (currently in my bag) I know there is a lazer in there, for what it’s worth.
29 – Old PRO V1s and Nike ONEs. (Used for when I am feeling lucky)
303 – Total
So as you can see, it was bad. I have since lost my craving for more balls and am living a more mentally healthy life. I am, however, on constant alert, weary of signs and triggers of relapse. So the moral of the story is this, you don’t need to buy any more golf balls. I have plenty, of whatever brand you would like. You are all free to come and take as many as you need. Consider it for my own good. I fear that it is like when you move old people that have crap that they never use and never will, but can’t part with it – You may need to work out something with Ash… just have her sneak you out some.
Note: Most of the balls in my inventory didn’t actually come from a course, but from surrounding areas. For example, across the road from Hobble and the park near Spanish Oaks, etc… This is embarrassing.
It all started around 2 months ago, I was in prime golfing shape, and I was going 3-4 times a week. It was an addiction that could not be quenched. Many of you know that I am not really good at the sport I so love, therefore, I was losing a lot of golf balls. Usually what I would do when this happened was go the Wal-Mart (they got your back) and buy some used Titliest golf balls that would last me another couple weeks.
I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but I was on the course, and I was running low. I thought to myself, “I can just buy some more, no big deal” but I continued, “or I could just look for some in the weeds and scrub oak where I have lost so many and then I could use the money I would have spend on balls, and buy another round.” I committed then and there. I was not going to buy another ball.
I had always thought that if I lost a ball that I would go look for it and find an extra, thus preserving my count and adding to it. But I kind of had a mental break at that time. It was on hole 8 at the local course. I hit one into the really rough stuff to the west of the green. I parked the cart and headed in. I found my ball and others, I kept looking, and something snapped. I couldn’t stop. It was addicting, I not only searched there, but on the other side of the fairway. By the end of my search of around 20 minutes (luckily it was not busy that day), I had nearly 40 golf balls. Ya, it was on.
Not only was my addiction changed from playing to looking for balls, but I had to clean and categorize each individual ball. My wife can attest that I should have taken some anti psychotic meds. Don’t believe me? I can prove it. Here is my current inventory of golf balls by brand…
64 – Titliest
56 – Top Flight
30 – Callaway
26 – Nike and Maxfli/Noodle (52 total – 26 each)
11 – Precept
8 – Taylormade, Wilson, and Dunlop (8 each)
7 – Pinnacle
5 – Alien
3 – Slazenger
2 – Srixon
10 – Colored balls (red, blue, yellow, etc… these don’t really count)
10 – Random (currently in my bag) I know there is a lazer in there, for what it’s worth.
29 – Old PRO V1s and Nike ONEs. (Used for when I am feeling lucky)
303 – Total
So as you can see, it was bad. I have since lost my craving for more balls and am living a more mentally healthy life. I am, however, on constant alert, weary of signs and triggers of relapse. So the moral of the story is this, you don’t need to buy any more golf balls. I have plenty, of whatever brand you would like. You are all free to come and take as many as you need. Consider it for my own good. I fear that it is like when you move old people that have crap that they never use and never will, but can’t part with it – You may need to work out something with Ash… just have her sneak you out some.
Note: Most of the balls in my inventory didn’t actually come from a course, but from surrounding areas. For example, across the road from Hobble and the park near Spanish Oaks, etc… This is embarrassing.
11 comments:
I dont think Ash could sneak some out just because Hub recounts his inventory and tucks them in each night before he himself goes to bed.
I just pictures Hub wearing a long black trenchcoat in some dark alley late at night lurking in the shadows with a hat covering his eyes. Evey now and again someone will make their way towards him and slip him a couple bills. Hub in turn says "what's it going to be then?... Nike? Calloway?
No wonder you didn't blog for two months...you were counting, and recounting your inventory. At least its nice to see you were being productive....er..
So, when you lose a ball now, is it like losing a son or daughter, or is the bond so shallow that the feelings of replacement are immediate?
Lets just say after a round of golf he has a hard time sleeping.
I pictured scrooge mcduck diving into a money bin, exept it was a ball bin, and it was scrooge mcHub.
And I am here to tell you, that trait of searching for golf balls was genetically inherited from Big Al.....along with the tee in the mouth for 9 holes.
As are a lot of mental disorders. I have come to a full and healthy recovery now. I feel no need to leave the ninety and nine to search for the one anymore. I figure that I can make a difference in someone elses life someday. Someone out there is bound to be smitten with the addiction that I have fought off. I am just here to help by allowing lost balls to someday become another's treasure.
When you ball supply goes down, your disorder will come back with the slogan "What didn't kill it, only made it stronger".
heads up
I can understand why you havent blogged for a while... You are still in school, and working so you time is very valuable and its ok... Work your 12 step program and kick the addiction. Just start small. It could go something like this.
Hub: Oh crap my ball went into the woods.
Hubs Brain: oh goodie now we can look for a thousand golf balls.
Hub: Yeah that would be great and fullfilling...Wait a minute Shut up brain. Man I really need some help...
Hubs Brain: No you don't! You just need to find some balls!!
Hub: Your right!! I found two growing on my body so now I can tell you No!!
Hubs Brain-(begins to rewire)
Hub- Besides I know a Dr who said hitting golf balls into the trees and not fetching them is kind of relaxing...
I stopped looking for balls when I turned 14.
Now, even if I find one, I give it to Ri-Bone or Hub....I know they need them more than me.
What like I hit more then one ball into the woods per round?
Nevermind that I have the habit too. I think I will always be fighting the urge to go look in the creek at that Sp. Fork park whenever we're there.
p.s. I don't know if I believe you sweetie that you're "all better". I guess only time will tell.
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