Long Lost Brothers?

I recently (last night) watched the championship game of the Las Vegas NCAA basketball tourney. This game was between the BYU cougars and the North Carolina Tar Heels. I think that Tyson may post on how awesome UNC is so I will not go into great detail. Suffice it to say that the Tar heels barely pulled it off. I was worried for a bit there. NC didn't pull away until there were about 4 minutes left, but that doesn't matter. The zoobies gave a good effort, but there were too many white boys on the team and they just ran out of steam. Oh ya, and Psycho T plays for NC. What a stud. Watching the game, I couldn't help but see none other than my brother-in-law Jason out there with the #50 jersey on. I am thinking that they may be brothers, or at least cousins, because the resemblance is scary. I am hoping to cash in on this relationship to get some sweet tickets to the Duke game in Chapel Hill. Anyone with me? Alright. Anyway... pretty weird. I thought Jason was in Japan for two years. Maybe that was just a cover to go play for coach Williams. I report, you decide. And remember - You stay classy team awesome.

So Soothing...

Ok, so the turkey bowl was a big success today. I will tell you the two stats that matter. 1. We won. 2. I caught a touchdown. Pretty sweet but as you all know, I am an old man. I have put on like 30 pounds since Tyler was born (I'm not sure how) and I am slow. Since the grass was about as soft as concrete, I had some bumps and bruises. Nothing too big. So I get home and take a shower. While in the shower I think "Hey, why don't I just plug this up and take a bath with the jets on. Awesome. It is not a hot tub, but it is as close as I am going to get. It was awesome. So, I would suggest taking a bath to heal all wounds. Your aching body will like you a little more. Plus, Ernie likes taking baths. We all want to be like him, right? Except for the weird relationship he has with Bert. Maybe they played basketball at Duke. Anyway... I forgot how awesome baths are - you just gotta shower first so you don't sit and soak in your own sweaty filth. Yummy.

3 Things You May Or May Not Need To Know...

The first thing of note here is mostly for Tyson as none of you have traveled the world reading meters as we have. Friday I went to read meters in Delta. Tyson already where I am going with this. Let me just say that I found my dream retirement destination. Picture a beautiful lake just minutes west of Delta. Now, take that lake and put a gorgeous rambler (trailer) right up next to the shore line. Next, make sure that there in NO grass in sight. Sage brush is ok, just no grass - dirt roads too? Of course.... There you have it - Sherwood Shores. What a place. I now believe everything that Tyson told me about. It really is that awesome.
Next... Our Christmas stuff is up. I know, Riley has had his up for a month, Tyson has been singing along with Kenny "the Roaster" Rodgers for 2 weeks, and Colby has been on the freaking Polar Express and visited the north pole. I thought I should get with the program. So I did. It is all up. Christmas tree, stocking holders, garland, lights, everything short of 2 or 3 things that will be added shortly that we are still working on. Anyway... it is now Christmas time in the Hub and at home. Most excellent.
Now, this next and final thought is about food teamwork. There are some mind boggling sauces out there. Here are a few: Honey Mustard - for nuggets, Tarter sauce - for fish and chips, Amazing sauce - for wings, Horseradish sauce - for prime rib, BBQ sauce and beef, etc. But last night my wife and I partook of (not for the first time, and definitely not the last) Red Robin's fry sauce. Oh my goodness. Best sauce ever! Period. I could seriously eat their steak fries smothered in that stuff until I died. It would take about 3 hours to do so, but I would love every second of it. I beg of you if you have not partaken of this sensation yourselves to get the Red Robin ASAP and enjoy.

Note: Red Robin did not pay my to endorse them, but if they did I would make them do it in fry sauce. So good.

Where There's Cold...

Before I get started I would like to apologize to all those that will be in Gilbert on Christmas Eve. This post involves cold and snow. Those in Gilbert this Eve will be either on the golf course or in the pool. Not a bad place to be.
I was going to wait until it snowed to post about this, but I am not patient enough. The clouds have been stingy as of late and I don't like it. I hate driving in the snow, but snow is good for a couple things. One of those is skiing. Now, whether we go to Alta or Brighton or wherever; and whether I ski or snowboard, doesn't matter. What does matter is that I am pumped and you all need to know it. Let me just list a few things I look forward to...
1)Getting like 2 inches of air off the "jump" on the bunny hill. That jump is so awesome.
2)Getting my face freeze burned by wind and powder as I ride the lifts. Awesome.
3)Eating like 4 meals worth of food in 10 minutes at lunchtime. Sandwiches and chips will always win.
4)The picture that your mom will no doubt take while everyone is standing there losing precious daylight.
5)Skiing in and out of the trees as quickly as my yellow belly and futile skills permit.
Just had to get this off of my chest. Call it my native American rain, errrr snow dance post.

War 40 days until I am on a mountain looking down and planning my route.
War 40 days 'til the fat man cometh.
Unwar finding coal in your stocking. Be good, be nice.

Here we come a waffleling...

Ashley and I were driving to a friend's house yesterday and flipping through the radio stations, I told her that we were going to listen to Christmas music. She said that she sided with Tyson and it was too early. I was shocked. As I steadied the car back into our lane, I said, "What, are we going to listen to FM100?" She replied, "They are playing Christmas music." I didn't believe it at first, but then it was confirmed. Now both stations are playing holiday favorites. Who's favorites they are is beyond me cause some of them flat out suck, but until I bust out my Holiday mixes, they will have to fill the void.

Speaking of Music. I thought I would let you know what you should look forward to hearing in the coming weeks. Yep. The following list is my personal top ten fave Holiday tunes. Enjoy.

1. O Holy Night - Josh Groban. Now, before you go crazy about Josh Gayban, know that he doesn't go all crazy like Maya Rudolph singing the national anthem. Celine's is a good version. I personally like the Gayban's best. You can insert whatever version by whoever... one thing is certain - O Holy Night is the best Christmas song ever.

2. Carol of the Bells, aka Ukranian Carol. Has been one of my favorites for as long as I can remember. Pick whatever version you will. I like Narada's and Manheim's. Yep.

3. The Hallelujah Chorus - The MoTab Choir. Crank it up and sing along. Basses rule.

4. Angles we have heard on high. I have always liked this one as well. I don't care for individuals singing it. I prefer groups, like Voice Male.

5. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings - The barenaked ladies feat. Sarah McLachlan. This song is awesome. Plain and simple. If you haven't heard it, you can borrow my copy of "Barenaked for the Holidays". It is very good.

6. Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming - Jon Schmidt. Love it. I prefer just the music.

7. Baby It's Cold Outside. This is one of my newer favorites. Watch Elf and you will love it too.

8. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch - Classic. Funny. Awesome.

9. Silent Night/Still, Still, Still. These tie as they are kinda the same feel. Take your pick. Both very good.

10. The Chanukah Song - Adam Sandler. Yep. The original is still so good. The second and third not so much, but his first is awesome.

Honorable mention include: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Fum Fum Fum, Good Christian Men Rejoice, Far, Far away on Judea's Plains, Pat-a-Pan, and more.

Note: Mariah Carey has been left off this list on purpose. Sorry Tikes.

Softball Guy Vs. Flag Football Guy

This is really two posts in one. It's a bit long, feel free to take a potty break half way through if you need to.

As you are all aware, the "Iron Pigs" had their first tournament game against "Game Over" last night. Here is an update of what happened...

The Iron Pigs start with the ball on their own 2 yard line (this is normal - it's where you always start). We quickly get to 3rd and twenty until some jack arse from Game over decides to rough the passer. Keep in mind that it's flag football. Anyway, for his stupidity, instead of being 4th and 20, a nearly impossible conversion, it is now 1st and 5. Thank you, you homo. This same guy ends up diving at Brian W's legs twice more in the next three plays. Not cool. Something needs to be done. There are some words exchanged, but nothing big happens. We score a touchdown, they score a touchdown - it's all tied up 6-6 at half time in a defensive battle.

Second half starts as Game Over marches right down the field to go up 12-6. They fail to get the conversion. We get the ball, march about have way down the field until they stop us and take possession of the ball. At this point we really need a defensive stop. So the eldest, most experienced player on the team (Brian) pulls out his signature move, he rushes the passer, causes an hurried throw, tips the ball, catches it for an interception, and runs about 4 yards before he is run down. Excellent. We, however, do not capitalize on the turnover. G.O. still leads 12-6. They now have the ball.

At this time I have had enough and decide that I am going to be Lawrence Taylor for the next 10 minutes. I was. I recorded my first sack of the year but it didn't slow them down for long. They marched down to the goal line.... It was 3rd and goal from our own 8 yard line. This could make or break the game. The iron pigs need to dig deep. They do. Casey A. rushes with Nate Q... the linebacker and secondary lock up all the receivers G.O. can throw at them (5), and I get the sack. Boo-ya. 4th and twenty. A nearly impossible conversion. G.O. goes for the end zone, the ball is tipped and dropped. Iron pigs ball. The momentum has turned completely in our favor.

The pigs begin their march. With the help of two very controversial calls (a pass interference and a bull-rush), the pigs tie it up on a ball that was tipped three times - como se dice Karma? At this point G.O. is furious. We are in their heads. Tony D. (QB for G.O.) throws one up for grabs - He had not learned in the first half that this was not a good idea, as Corbin W. (safety for the pigs) had knocked down 5 balls that were the exact same play - Anyway, Tony throws it up for grabs, this time Corbin picks it off and runs it back to Game Over's 25 yard line. There are 30 seconds to play.

Game Over is flagged for a personal foul for swearing at the official, giving the pigs an extra 15 yards. We will take it (at this time the offender's (Telmo T.) girlfriend is heard saying "Jeez, apparently it's the super bowl - a chuckle is heard as well). 2 plays later, I find myself in the end zone with the ball and 4 seconds left. Game over for Game Over. The upset special just happened. They are pissed. I am loving life, and the pigs survive to see another day. I cannot take all the credit for the victory. The entire crew played extremely well.

Now, as for the title of this post. I would like to compare Softball guy to Flag football guy.

SB guy: Yells "Boom" after a hit.
FF guy: Yells "That a boy, son! or That's what I'm talkin' about, son" after EVERY play, even though they are not related, and the play was not that fantastic.
SB guy: Believes he is playing in the World series and his high school coach hated him.
FF guy: Believes he is playing in the Super Bowl and that his high school coach hated him.
SB guy: Thinks he is super awesome and so hot right now.
FF guy: Thinks that he can "beat your A--" even though he is 4'5". This actually happened last night, no joke - the whistle is blown, and the game momentarily stops. The official yells, "dog on the field". I look around and see, not a lab, not a pit bull, but Paris Hilton's dog. Well, it wasn't hers, but it looked just like hers - it even has a pink sweater on. Ya. So this 4' nothing kid picks it up, pets it, and takes it back to his girlfriend. I say "Is that seriously your dog?" As I am laughing, to which he replies, "shut up! I'll beat you A." I continue to laugh, and go to hike the ball. Wow. That just happened.

SB guy: Will eventually get killed by the Karma. It happens every time.
FF guy: Will eventually get killed by the Karma. Roughing the passer, Bull-rushing, and diving at players legs in flag football will come back to bite you when you least expect it.

War beating teams that deserve it.

Fall = Football

Actual logo used on our jersies. Awesome.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, one of the good things about Thanksgiving, and fall, is football. I being the only one is this family currently in a league, if you will call it that, feel obligated to tell you how this year went for the Iron Pigs. That is my team, aka Questar Gas. The season wrapped up yesterday, leaving just two tournament days. The tourny is single elimination, you lose - you go home. Of course, this is all just warm up for the turkey bowl coming up this Thanksgiving. Anyway, the Pigs went 4-5 this year. Not even .500. pretty bad, huh? Obviously it was a rebuilding year, and there are some kinks we need to work on this off season, but we did finish the season on a high note. We are currently on a 3 game winning streak. Yes, that means if you do the math we were 1-5 at one point. Wow. We did pick up a key free Agent name Jeff B. which has helped, and we have found an offense that moves the ball. Something you need to do to win. Anyway, I am not heartbroken about the season, there is a decent chance we stir things up in the tourney, but this year has been fun. For those of you that don't know, I bailed on my traditional team and joined a younger more inexperienced one. Last year we were undefeated, but it sucked. That is why I called a meeting with the owners and stated the usual "moving in a different direction" stuff. It wasn't about the money or the touches. That team just had a couple guys that made me feel like I was playing football with some 8 year old girls that had just lost their barbies. It was bad. So, onto the tourney and Turkey Bowl. Be there or be a homo dressed in black straight ironing your hair.

War Steve being back so Randall B. can full out body slam him. War Colby K. not being there and scaring me as I attempt to tackle him. War my wife continuing to learn the rules and strategies of man sports.

I think it is actually more like TB IV or V. I cant remember, but you get the point.

Inspired by 'The Office' rerun on Tuesday...

I sincerely hope that everyone had a wonderful Halloween. It's a truly great holiday, however, it is now over and we must turn the page. We must move forward, not backward. Upward, not downward. We must focus on the future...
Now, allow me to tell you all how awesome Thanksgiving is. There are many wonderful perks that accompany this historic holiday. In no particular order, these include, but are not limited to:

1) Not one, but TWO days off from work. Epic.
2) Football - in the morning, midday, and evening. Playing or watching. Outstanding.
3) Food. Good food, and lots of it.
4) Family time. Cheesy, I know, but it's gotta be there.
5) 4 days off of school. Hallelujah.

Unfortunately for Thanksgiving, it falls exactly one month before the best holiday ever. You know the one... Christmas. It is a bit sad, but what can you do? Thanksgiving will yet again take the role of red-headed step child of the calendar and be celebrated for one day only (the day after Thanksgiving does not count as a Thanksgiving celebration as it is the unofficial shoppers' holiday).
That's right. When I step outside and turn on my car to go to work, I will hear Christmas music. Yep. Kosy 106.5 (my FM2 #5 preset) will be blasting Manheim faves and other Christmas classics all the way to work. I gotta follow suit. My home will not be decorated until after Thanksgiving (out of a combination of respect for Thanksgiving and laziness), but in the hub, it is now all Christmas all the time. My sidebar is spreading holiday cheer like no one's business. And you like it.