Top Of The Muffin... To You!

Let me take you back in time... the year was 2004 (I think) when I was young and unafraid (name that quote) anyway, it was winter and I decided that I needed some snow pants. I would get a decent pair that would last me for a while because I wouldn't use them that much anyway - maybe skiing and once or twice more every winter... I buy some. I nice gray pair.

Fast forward... Tyler is born and we become a little family. I discontinue all extra-house activities that involves running or even walking quickly... I gain like 30 pounds in 5 months. Wow.

Back to the present. I am planning on going skiing tomorrow. I pull out my trusty snow pants when Ashley so tactfully says "I hope they still fit." Oh my goodness. I hadn't even thought of that. I am way fatter than I was 3 years ago. I haven't worn these for like 2 years...

Moment of truth arrives as I try them on... I put one leg in and then the other. They are already getting tight. In a panic I suck in my bowl full of jelly and any other adipose tissue I can. One more big inhale as I zip them up... I think - 'Ok, I can at least zip them up, maybe with like 3 belts I can...' I then proceed to the dual buttons. Snap - one down, one to go. And snap. "Yes!" I exclaim as it occurs to me that the pants will not burst at the seams tomorrow as I am skiing down the hill.

I relax - Snap! Oh man. This is bad. I re-button the buttons and slowly exhale.... the pressure is on... the stay buttoned. I take a few steps... still together. Ok, I can use them. I will just use some sort of belt just in case. I look down and see my gut exploding over the top of my pants. Wow. That is so hot right now. Hansel is jealous of me. I guess I won't be tucking my shirt in tomorrow. I am sure I will have fun though.

Plus, whenever I get hungry, I can just look down at my muffin top and lose my appetite. Kinda like you all just did.

World's Best Board Game?

So some friends called up last night, "We have been sitting around wrapping presents and watching movies. We are bored, and by the way, when was the last time you played Monopoly?" I reply, "Come on over and get your beat down." So they show up, we turn off an SNL Holiday special after watching Adam Sandler perform the Channucah song and turn on the Jazz game and head to the table.

Long story short - Ashley was the first to go. A series of bad luck with the dice and taking care of Tyler turned her in. A valiant effort.

Next to go was Brittany (not Spears - if she were to show up I would punch her in the kidney). This Brit is very nice. Anyway, she held out as long as she could with no monopolies and no buildings. It is no wonder she did not win. She didn't want to make any deals. She eventually landed on my NC avenue with 4 houses - $1100 bones, please. That was it.

Now it was down to Marshall and I. He owned the stretch of property from jail to free parking while I owned the home stretch. Yep, the most expensive - including both park place and boardwalk. It was a battle heretofore unheard of. Just he and I went back and forth 4 times. He had all the money and I none, then he lands on one of my properties, I get the money, then land on his, and so on...

The entire game lasted roughly 4 and a half hours. Who came out victorious you ask? Of course, yours truly. Mr. money bags himself. Me. I wish it translated to reality because I could use some of that money and know how. Anyway. Monopoly is awesome. I like boardgames, and I vote that they be played on a more regular basis. Maybe weekly.

I know that team awesome has played Monopoly before, but I don't ever recall being able to finish a game before Mom and some others had had enough of the yelling. I say it's just part of the game. Believe it.

Feelin' Good.

That's right. I am done. FYI - I passed. I will not have to go back to Labor and Delivery, as long as my beloved wife isn't there - and that won't be for a while, no, we haven't even talked about it - geez, people. Anyway, you all know of the joy I feel and will feel for the next 3 weeks. I will now revert back to working, checking blogs, and playing a couple computer games. Pretty much same old deal. Except now there won't be any late nights writing papers that I have put off for 3 weeks. I keep telling myself that I will stop procrastinating.... starting next semester....

Another First...

OK, so my posting attendance has been awful this week. I was going to post on Wednesday, but didn't. I will save you from my whining about class - suffice it to say that I am done with my clinicals and just have my final on Monday. I need to get a 74% or above on the final to pass, so wish me luck.

One thing I will say is that I had another big first my last day at clinical. No, this has nothing to do with urine or fecal matter, sorry guys. It's all about the blood. I started my first IV in the ER on Tuesday. It was pretty sweet. I was 3 for 6 at the end of the day. That may not sound all that awesome, but it is. Poking people with needles and taping them to their arms is pretty sweet. That is why in celebration of the highlight of the semester I went and bought this Male Nurse Action Figure. You are all jealous. I didn't really buy it, that would be gay; but it really was pretty sweet to actually do something other than change a bed.

So, two more days until I receive three weeks of academic freedom.

War people with ropes for veins.

War the nurse that let me practice IVs on her - 3 pokes... she is awesome.

War a mere 16 days until Christmas.

Ah, Yes. The Christmas Pic...

There are a lot of wonderful Christmas traditions out there. Unfortunately, not everything in December is awesome. I last posted on driving on ice during a blizzard. Snow is awesome except when it is on the road. Anyway, let me tell you about another (sarcasm inserted here) wonderful Christmas tradition: the Christmas Pic.

No doubt it will happen to you, too. Either by need for a card or by your lovely wife's demand, you will have a "Christmas" pic taken. My family has already had this taken - I hope. We put the annual picture on a card and send it to all of you. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind having a quick picture taken, but it can get ugly, especially with me in the pic. So if the picture that we have already taken doesn't work this year, don't be surprised to get a picture like the one above from us saying "Merry Christmas from Team Zander". Even though these people are obviously not us. I just don't know how many photo shoots I can do in one month. I don't know why they adopted Fez for the picture or why they think it is funny that they are all closing their eyes. There are some weirdos out there. Ri-Hunter, I may have a job for you involving 7 people. Your future weapon will not harm them too badly, right?

P.S. I have a beautiful and very patient wife and my son is a natural born chick magnet and superstar when the cameras come out, so it is me that ruins the pics - mostly by my over the top positive attitude. Also... big thanks to Tikes for lending this family his Christmas sweaters. I didn't know you had that many.

Disclaimer: My hatred toward getting a Christmas pic taken may be slightly exaggerated for the purpose of this post.

Slipping and Sliding Out of Death's Grasp...

It snowed yesterday. Snow is usually awesome. Snow is awesome when you are in your yard playing. It is awesome when you have a couple flat poles hooked onto your feet or a big tube under your butt and you are flying down a hill. Snow is not awesome when it tries to kill you. Luckily for me, I have wicked, nay, I have nigh super-human driving skills (practice your doughnuts, kiddies). Now, I just had to tell you all about my yestermorn.

Friday afternoon I decided that I would work on Sat. morning. I thought that since I sleep in and laze around the entire morning accomplishing nothing, it would be a good idea to get some hours in. I wake up around 6:30, get showered, ready to roll, put on my winter coat and walk outside. Sweet! I exclaim in my head as I see 5 inches of white awesomeness covering everything. So I start up the tank of an accent I have and race off into the blizzard. I get to work ok. Average speed on the freeway: 45. I thought that was pretty good. At work I get in a rear wheel drive blazer and take off toward south east Provo - all the condos and duplexes on the hill. I didn't even see it coming. Most of the 6 hour work day was uneventful. I did almost slide into parked cars twice. I did slide into about 6 curbs.

The highlight (or scariest thing that happened) came as I was driving down a hill toward the highway. For that one moment I had lost focus and realized too late that I was going a bit fast. On that hill 3 mph was too fast. Anyway, I am sliding down this hill, I try to slow down - denied. I try to turn into someone's driveway or even yard - denied. So sure enough I go sliding onto the highway. Seriously scary. Fortunately I was not T-Boned, but got enough grip as I passed through the 2 north bound lanes to turn into the turning lane and avoid getting hit by anyone in the south bound lanes.

Later that evening we went to visit Marshall and his wife in Spanish Fork. On our way home I had to pass through the mists of darkness going like 10 mph. We could only see for like 15 feet. It was pretty weird. That is what you get for taking the road that passes by the old factory out there. Anyway... point of the post is mostly for Keely and Kaitlyn. Take the car - go practice your doughnuts, but don't get caught. Tell Mom that Dad said it was OK. He did tell our driver's ed class that it was a good idea. It is all to avoid looking like the car below.

Long Lost Brothers?

I recently (last night) watched the championship game of the Las Vegas NCAA basketball tourney. This game was between the BYU cougars and the North Carolina Tar Heels. I think that Tyson may post on how awesome UNC is so I will not go into great detail. Suffice it to say that the Tar heels barely pulled it off. I was worried for a bit there. NC didn't pull away until there were about 4 minutes left, but that doesn't matter. The zoobies gave a good effort, but there were too many white boys on the team and they just ran out of steam. Oh ya, and Psycho T plays for NC. What a stud. Watching the game, I couldn't help but see none other than my brother-in-law Jason out there with the #50 jersey on. I am thinking that they may be brothers, or at least cousins, because the resemblance is scary. I am hoping to cash in on this relationship to get some sweet tickets to the Duke game in Chapel Hill. Anyone with me? Alright. Anyway... pretty weird. I thought Jason was in Japan for two years. Maybe that was just a cover to go play for coach Williams. I report, you decide. And remember - You stay classy team awesome.

So Soothing...

Ok, so the turkey bowl was a big success today. I will tell you the two stats that matter. 1. We won. 2. I caught a touchdown. Pretty sweet but as you all know, I am an old man. I have put on like 30 pounds since Tyler was born (I'm not sure how) and I am slow. Since the grass was about as soft as concrete, I had some bumps and bruises. Nothing too big. So I get home and take a shower. While in the shower I think "Hey, why don't I just plug this up and take a bath with the jets on. Awesome. It is not a hot tub, but it is as close as I am going to get. It was awesome. So, I would suggest taking a bath to heal all wounds. Your aching body will like you a little more. Plus, Ernie likes taking baths. We all want to be like him, right? Except for the weird relationship he has with Bert. Maybe they played basketball at Duke. Anyway... I forgot how awesome baths are - you just gotta shower first so you don't sit and soak in your own sweaty filth. Yummy.

3 Things You May Or May Not Need To Know...

The first thing of note here is mostly for Tyson as none of you have traveled the world reading meters as we have. Friday I went to read meters in Delta. Tyson already where I am going with this. Let me just say that I found my dream retirement destination. Picture a beautiful lake just minutes west of Delta. Now, take that lake and put a gorgeous rambler (trailer) right up next to the shore line. Next, make sure that there in NO grass in sight. Sage brush is ok, just no grass - dirt roads too? Of course.... There you have it - Sherwood Shores. What a place. I now believe everything that Tyson told me about. It really is that awesome.
Next... Our Christmas stuff is up. I know, Riley has had his up for a month, Tyson has been singing along with Kenny "the Roaster" Rodgers for 2 weeks, and Colby has been on the freaking Polar Express and visited the north pole. I thought I should get with the program. So I did. It is all up. Christmas tree, stocking holders, garland, lights, everything short of 2 or 3 things that will be added shortly that we are still working on. Anyway... it is now Christmas time in the Hub and at home. Most excellent.
Now, this next and final thought is about food teamwork. There are some mind boggling sauces out there. Here are a few: Honey Mustard - for nuggets, Tarter sauce - for fish and chips, Amazing sauce - for wings, Horseradish sauce - for prime rib, BBQ sauce and beef, etc. But last night my wife and I partook of (not for the first time, and definitely not the last) Red Robin's fry sauce. Oh my goodness. Best sauce ever! Period. I could seriously eat their steak fries smothered in that stuff until I died. It would take about 3 hours to do so, but I would love every second of it. I beg of you if you have not partaken of this sensation yourselves to get the Red Robin ASAP and enjoy.

Note: Red Robin did not pay my to endorse them, but if they did I would make them do it in fry sauce. So good.

Where There's Cold...

Before I get started I would like to apologize to all those that will be in Gilbert on Christmas Eve. This post involves cold and snow. Those in Gilbert this Eve will be either on the golf course or in the pool. Not a bad place to be.
I was going to wait until it snowed to post about this, but I am not patient enough. The clouds have been stingy as of late and I don't like it. I hate driving in the snow, but snow is good for a couple things. One of those is skiing. Now, whether we go to Alta or Brighton or wherever; and whether I ski or snowboard, doesn't matter. What does matter is that I am pumped and you all need to know it. Let me just list a few things I look forward to...
1)Getting like 2 inches of air off the "jump" on the bunny hill. That jump is so awesome.
2)Getting my face freeze burned by wind and powder as I ride the lifts. Awesome.
3)Eating like 4 meals worth of food in 10 minutes at lunchtime. Sandwiches and chips will always win.
4)The picture that your mom will no doubt take while everyone is standing there losing precious daylight.
5)Skiing in and out of the trees as quickly as my yellow belly and futile skills permit.
Just had to get this off of my chest. Call it my native American rain, errrr snow dance post.

War 40 days until I am on a mountain looking down and planning my route.
War 40 days 'til the fat man cometh.
Unwar finding coal in your stocking. Be good, be nice.

Here we come a waffleling...

Ashley and I were driving to a friend's house yesterday and flipping through the radio stations, I told her that we were going to listen to Christmas music. She said that she sided with Tyson and it was too early. I was shocked. As I steadied the car back into our lane, I said, "What, are we going to listen to FM100?" She replied, "They are playing Christmas music." I didn't believe it at first, but then it was confirmed. Now both stations are playing holiday favorites. Who's favorites they are is beyond me cause some of them flat out suck, but until I bust out my Holiday mixes, they will have to fill the void.

Speaking of Music. I thought I would let you know what you should look forward to hearing in the coming weeks. Yep. The following list is my personal top ten fave Holiday tunes. Enjoy.

1. O Holy Night - Josh Groban. Now, before you go crazy about Josh Gayban, know that he doesn't go all crazy like Maya Rudolph singing the national anthem. Celine's is a good version. I personally like the Gayban's best. You can insert whatever version by whoever... one thing is certain - O Holy Night is the best Christmas song ever.

2. Carol of the Bells, aka Ukranian Carol. Has been one of my favorites for as long as I can remember. Pick whatever version you will. I like Narada's and Manheim's. Yep.

3. The Hallelujah Chorus - The MoTab Choir. Crank it up and sing along. Basses rule.

4. Angles we have heard on high. I have always liked this one as well. I don't care for individuals singing it. I prefer groups, like Voice Male.

5. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings - The barenaked ladies feat. Sarah McLachlan. This song is awesome. Plain and simple. If you haven't heard it, you can borrow my copy of "Barenaked for the Holidays". It is very good.

6. Lo, How a Rose Ere Blooming - Jon Schmidt. Love it. I prefer just the music.

7. Baby It's Cold Outside. This is one of my newer favorites. Watch Elf and you will love it too.

8. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch - Classic. Funny. Awesome.

9. Silent Night/Still, Still, Still. These tie as they are kinda the same feel. Take your pick. Both very good.

10. The Chanukah Song - Adam Sandler. Yep. The original is still so good. The second and third not so much, but his first is awesome.

Honorable mention include: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy, Fum Fum Fum, Good Christian Men Rejoice, Far, Far away on Judea's Plains, Pat-a-Pan, and more.

Note: Mariah Carey has been left off this list on purpose. Sorry Tikes.

Softball Guy Vs. Flag Football Guy

This is really two posts in one. It's a bit long, feel free to take a potty break half way through if you need to.

As you are all aware, the "Iron Pigs" had their first tournament game against "Game Over" last night. Here is an update of what happened...

The Iron Pigs start with the ball on their own 2 yard line (this is normal - it's where you always start). We quickly get to 3rd and twenty until some jack arse from Game over decides to rough the passer. Keep in mind that it's flag football. Anyway, for his stupidity, instead of being 4th and 20, a nearly impossible conversion, it is now 1st and 5. Thank you, you homo. This same guy ends up diving at Brian W's legs twice more in the next three plays. Not cool. Something needs to be done. There are some words exchanged, but nothing big happens. We score a touchdown, they score a touchdown - it's all tied up 6-6 at half time in a defensive battle.

Second half starts as Game Over marches right down the field to go up 12-6. They fail to get the conversion. We get the ball, march about have way down the field until they stop us and take possession of the ball. At this point we really need a defensive stop. So the eldest, most experienced player on the team (Brian) pulls out his signature move, he rushes the passer, causes an hurried throw, tips the ball, catches it for an interception, and runs about 4 yards before he is run down. Excellent. We, however, do not capitalize on the turnover. G.O. still leads 12-6. They now have the ball.

At this time I have had enough and decide that I am going to be Lawrence Taylor for the next 10 minutes. I was. I recorded my first sack of the year but it didn't slow them down for long. They marched down to the goal line.... It was 3rd and goal from our own 8 yard line. This could make or break the game. The iron pigs need to dig deep. They do. Casey A. rushes with Nate Q... the linebacker and secondary lock up all the receivers G.O. can throw at them (5), and I get the sack. Boo-ya. 4th and twenty. A nearly impossible conversion. G.O. goes for the end zone, the ball is tipped and dropped. Iron pigs ball. The momentum has turned completely in our favor.

The pigs begin their march. With the help of two very controversial calls (a pass interference and a bull-rush), the pigs tie it up on a ball that was tipped three times - como se dice Karma? At this point G.O. is furious. We are in their heads. Tony D. (QB for G.O.) throws one up for grabs - He had not learned in the first half that this was not a good idea, as Corbin W. (safety for the pigs) had knocked down 5 balls that were the exact same play - Anyway, Tony throws it up for grabs, this time Corbin picks it off and runs it back to Game Over's 25 yard line. There are 30 seconds to play.

Game Over is flagged for a personal foul for swearing at the official, giving the pigs an extra 15 yards. We will take it (at this time the offender's (Telmo T.) girlfriend is heard saying "Jeez, apparently it's the super bowl - a chuckle is heard as well). 2 plays later, I find myself in the end zone with the ball and 4 seconds left. Game over for Game Over. The upset special just happened. They are pissed. I am loving life, and the pigs survive to see another day. I cannot take all the credit for the victory. The entire crew played extremely well.

Now, as for the title of this post. I would like to compare Softball guy to Flag football guy.

SB guy: Yells "Boom" after a hit.
FF guy: Yells "That a boy, son! or That's what I'm talkin' about, son" after EVERY play, even though they are not related, and the play was not that fantastic.
SB guy: Believes he is playing in the World series and his high school coach hated him.
FF guy: Believes he is playing in the Super Bowl and that his high school coach hated him.
SB guy: Thinks he is super awesome and so hot right now.
FF guy: Thinks that he can "beat your A--" even though he is 4'5". This actually happened last night, no joke - the whistle is blown, and the game momentarily stops. The official yells, "dog on the field". I look around and see, not a lab, not a pit bull, but Paris Hilton's dog. Well, it wasn't hers, but it looked just like hers - it even has a pink sweater on. Ya. So this 4' nothing kid picks it up, pets it, and takes it back to his girlfriend. I say "Is that seriously your dog?" As I am laughing, to which he replies, "shut up! I'll beat you A." I continue to laugh, and go to hike the ball. Wow. That just happened.

SB guy: Will eventually get killed by the Karma. It happens every time.
FF guy: Will eventually get killed by the Karma. Roughing the passer, Bull-rushing, and diving at players legs in flag football will come back to bite you when you least expect it.

War beating teams that deserve it.

Fall = Football

Actual logo used on our jersies. Awesome.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, one of the good things about Thanksgiving, and fall, is football. I being the only one is this family currently in a league, if you will call it that, feel obligated to tell you how this year went for the Iron Pigs. That is my team, aka Questar Gas. The season wrapped up yesterday, leaving just two tournament days. The tourny is single elimination, you lose - you go home. Of course, this is all just warm up for the turkey bowl coming up this Thanksgiving. Anyway, the Pigs went 4-5 this year. Not even .500. pretty bad, huh? Obviously it was a rebuilding year, and there are some kinks we need to work on this off season, but we did finish the season on a high note. We are currently on a 3 game winning streak. Yes, that means if you do the math we were 1-5 at one point. Wow. We did pick up a key free Agent name Jeff B. which has helped, and we have found an offense that moves the ball. Something you need to do to win. Anyway, I am not heartbroken about the season, there is a decent chance we stir things up in the tourney, but this year has been fun. For those of you that don't know, I bailed on my traditional team and joined a younger more inexperienced one. Last year we were undefeated, but it sucked. That is why I called a meeting with the owners and stated the usual "moving in a different direction" stuff. It wasn't about the money or the touches. That team just had a couple guys that made me feel like I was playing football with some 8 year old girls that had just lost their barbies. It was bad. So, onto the tourney and Turkey Bowl. Be there or be a homo dressed in black straight ironing your hair.

War Steve being back so Randall B. can full out body slam him. War Colby K. not being there and scaring me as I attempt to tackle him. War my wife continuing to learn the rules and strategies of man sports.

I think it is actually more like TB IV or V. I cant remember, but you get the point.

Inspired by 'The Office' rerun on Tuesday...

I sincerely hope that everyone had a wonderful Halloween. It's a truly great holiday, however, it is now over and we must turn the page. We must move forward, not backward. Upward, not downward. We must focus on the future...
Now, allow me to tell you all how awesome Thanksgiving is. There are many wonderful perks that accompany this historic holiday. In no particular order, these include, but are not limited to:

1) Not one, but TWO days off from work. Epic.
2) Football - in the morning, midday, and evening. Playing or watching. Outstanding.
3) Food. Good food, and lots of it.
4) Family time. Cheesy, I know, but it's gotta be there.
5) 4 days off of school. Hallelujah.

Unfortunately for Thanksgiving, it falls exactly one month before the best holiday ever. You know the one... Christmas. It is a bit sad, but what can you do? Thanksgiving will yet again take the role of red-headed step child of the calendar and be celebrated for one day only (the day after Thanksgiving does not count as a Thanksgiving celebration as it is the unofficial shoppers' holiday).
That's right. When I step outside and turn on my car to go to work, I will hear Christmas music. Yep. Kosy 106.5 (my FM2 #5 preset) will be blasting Manheim faves and other Christmas classics all the way to work. I gotta follow suit. My home will not be decorated until after Thanksgiving (out of a combination of respect for Thanksgiving and laziness), but in the hub, it is now all Christmas all the time. My sidebar is spreading holiday cheer like no one's business. And you like it.

Caution: Potentially Disgusting Nursing Update...

As the days have grown shorter in these last few weeks, so have my awesome posts. Halloween is tomorrow and that is pretty much it. Not a lot going on in Genola. So, I am here writing today about what my latest clinical day was like. As you may have guessed, I saw a total knee replacement. It was pretty awesome. It took longer than I thought it would, but it was very interesting. I have come the the conclusion that orthopedic surgeons are little more than overpaid carpenters. The reason is elementary my dear Watson. I witnessed the surgeon use a drill, a saw, and a hammer. He used all of these, and other tools, more than once. It is no wonder people are in such pain after surgery. It kinda hurt me a little just watching. I was actually very proud of myself for not getting queasy. When the Dr. cut through the top of the Tibia and bone debris started flying I got worried, but it was in vain. I kept it all in and didn't even get light headed. Old news for Colby, but it's new to me. I did watch the Anesthesiologist intibate the patient and sit there on the phone for 2 hours though. Rough. Anyway, just thought I would share.

Welcome to Planet Man-Ram

Manny Ramirez has been a hot topic in the bloggle as of late, so I thought I would do my part to stir the pot a little more. I will start by asking a question... Why does Man-Ram do what he does? The answer is simple... Because he can. Yes, he wears pajamas. Yes, his hair and appearance at times can be frightening. No, he does not run hard, ever. Yes, he hits a lot of home runs. Yes, he throws his arms up in the air and walks the bases when he hits a home run even though his team is losing 9-3 in the 9th. Just one more, yes, he deserves a gold glove - why? because he is so innovative.

For years, the "norm" has been that when a center fielder gets a ball he will hit a (one) cut-off man. The cut-off man is usually the short-stop. The cut-off man then proceeds to throw the ball home. Usually that is where the play is. Well, not in planet Man-Ram.

On planet Man-Ram, when the center fielder gets the ball he throws it towards home plate. At this moment, we all think that the short-stop will cut the throw and send it home. Well, in Manny's world - he dives to cut the throw from the center fielder. Yes, he dives to his left (a great catch by the way) lands, turns, and from his knees, throws it home? No. To the original cut-off. Yep. That is correct. He cuts the throw to the cut-off to throw it to the cut-off. From his knees. Wow.

How in the world can we not reward this sort of behavior. He is changing the game of baseball single handedly and we are witnesses. This is an absolutely incredible time. Yes, the game may be dominated by massive steroid scandals, but I think we should focus on the positive. Manny being Manny is the funniest thing in baseball. He is crazy. The best part is that he doesn't even know it. He is perfect for a place like the bloggle.

So all you haters, just give him a chance, let go of everything he does that destroys all you have ever been taught about baseball. Let go of all that you have loved about baseball. And let Manny in. All he needs is a fastball down the middle, some XXXXL baseball pants, a doo rag, and a glove. He will at least teach you how to NOT play left field. But what are you going to do? DH Manny and have big Papi play left? Alright then.

For those of you that don't believe that he actually cut a throw from Damon and threw it to short - Here you go. (Scroll down a bit - it's the 4th video there) I hope it works. It didn't work on my computer at home, but did work on my computer at work. Yes, I know, I know, save the applause, autographs after the post, please. I have done it again. Bringing you all the best video out there. Laugh, or shake your head in disgust. It's up to you. I report, You decide.

Official Press Release

That is right, weaklings. I am sure that you all have been wondering why I haven't posted about my incredible run to the Tecmo Super Bowl Hall of Fame in P-town. Well, as the cliche goes, it just hadn't quite sunk in. I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I needed a couple days to rest recover from it all. The overload of NES stimuli was almost too much for me to handle. Much like Riley needed some time to lick his wounds, I was basking in the rays of immortal status. I am now ready for any questions that you may have as to my mad skills. Where do they come from, you ask? Well, it is mostly just an natural talent that has been suppressed these last few years. It just peaked at the right time. Hours upon hours of playing helps, but when you got it, you just got it, and you know it.

Jim Rome called, Dan Patrick called, and Sports Illustrated called, so keep your eyes and ears open for the interviews that are to come in the next few weeks. I was even told that there was a good chance that I would be on the cover of the November edition of ESPN the magazine. Take a good look at these pictures because, as Riley said, that is pretty much all you are going to see of the trophy. Tyler has already grown quite fond of it. He even claims he can beat me and rightfully take it. I seriously doubt that, but I give him a better chance than N.A. "Psht...please".

The man, aka T-Slobber only had one official comment after the tournament... "My dad can beat your dad at Tecmo." Ouch.

Bring hither the truth...

This does not happen often. I need your help. Yes, you read correctly. I am dealing with a bit of a situation here and need to leech upon your combined wisdom. I will ask a simple question. Yes, I could put it in a poll, but this is far too important. Let me explain...

Many years ago (many of you may remember) Mom or Dad bought a fake Christmas tree. On the day after Thanksgiving, (it was a bit cold, but not too bad; a long boring day with no school and nothing to do) I, along with some others, decided that it was a great idea to decorate for Christmas. I went out to the shed, grabbed the tree, brought it into the house, brushed off the dust and debris (inside the house, of course) and proceeded to set up the tree. 5 minutes later I was done. So easy. Now came the lights, the stockings, the other decorations, etc... I thought nothing of it at the time nor did I think much of it for many years. Until almost 4 years ago.

Ashley and I are about to celebrate our first Christmas together. How wonderful it was. Snow was abundant, the smell of cinnamon danced in our nostrils, Mannheim was playing on the stereo, and the new and old decorations were hung. We only lacked one thing. The mother of all Christmas decorations. That's right, the tree. Ashley and I sat down to talk over this dilemma. I asked her, "Dearest Ashley, whatever shall we do? I think it necessary to go get a Christmas tree." Ashley replies "I agree, dear husband. You are so wise. Where shall we go to get a real Christmas tree?" Timeout.
At this point, we discuss the matter further and decide, at long last, to get a real tree instead of a fake one. We decide that it would be wonderful to have that authentic pine smell dancing in our nostrils instead of the cinnamon. The next 2 years were the same.

Now, I will ask you, dear reader - that age old question that burns within us all - Which is better, the fake Christmas tree or the real Christmas tree? Think about this as long as you need. I will not tell you about the suffering, the pain, the anguish that this question has brought down upon my small family. Your comments would be greatly appreciated.
P.S. It is not too early to start thinking about Christmas, so don't even start down that road. I know what you are thinking before you write it. It snowed last night in case you didn't see it. You may think that I should work for Kozy 106.5, and maybe I should. As far as I'm concerned, it's all Christmas all the time from here on out.
P.S.S. Halloween and Thanksgiving are awesome.
P.S.S.S. My trophy is even more awesome.
P.S.S.S.S. Ashley and I are very much in love and work through our minor disagreements like adults.

Ask and Ye shall receive...

What is up. A tremendous Thursday to you. This is going to be an epic post. Just in time for a zero tolerance Friday. That is right team awesome. Tyson, you wanted it - you got it. Yes sir, it's Alvin's mix large and in charge. I will even supply you with half speed and double speed. The second two are not as high quality, but you get the point. What are we talkin' about? Whyyyyyy!!!??? Awesome. I vote that youtube be the #1 sponsor on KDIS. Even without the money. I can't do without it. Update: I found, one of my favorites, the Jacko's Adult Alarm. Enjoy.

For all of you ladies that are extremely confused right now and don't understand why your husband is laughing hysterically while he listens to seemingly random bits of the Rome show, I have one piece of advice - give it two weeks...

Amanda, if you are really curious as to what "lunch with the monkey" refers to, wikipedia has provided an excellent resource for most if not all of what is said in Alvin's mix. Lunch with the monkey is in there under "soundbites that get run into the ground", find it's little excerpt. If you want even more info including Mike in C-town's side, you can scroll down to Reference 2 and read "tears of a clone". This is probably the best research I have ever done and the coolest thing I have found online to date. There is stuff in here that I didn't even know. Whoever put this together is the newest member of team awesome. What a resource. I am pumped up right now. As manifested by my inability to stop typing. Soundbite database

A couple thoughts...

Not alot going on today from the Genola crew. I did come across an alarming picture that I thought I should share. As you can see. That is a sheep drinking out of a fountain. I don't know where and I don't want to. I thought the movie "Black Sheep" was a bad, low budget movie. Apparently it is a documentary. I hope it took place in a far off country - we all know sheep can't swim (hopefully). Anyway...

Another thing. I double, triple and quadruple checked with Jon today about the nintendo and it will be in my possesion if not tomorrow, then for sure Friday at work. So, I will supply the NES, the TSB game console, 2 paddles, and plenty of beat downs. I guess you all just have to show up and take your turn as my whipping boy.
War wars. (Not actual wars filled with bloodshed, "war eagle" wars)

War Riley starting to understand some of the jungle lingo.

War anytime the "garden" is mentioned.

War me winning the Tecmo Smack off.

The Countdown Continues...

That's right. I am going to go ahead and call my shot. This picture is just a little prediction that I have for Friday Night. I thought that I would be nice and include a couple of things to help you all out. One of those is the screen of teams that you will get to pick from. Choose ye this day with whom ye will play. I suggest you come with a pretty good strategy. Second, I thought I would get you some music to get the ol' Tecmo Bowl Blood pumping. This music is awesome and I am so proud of myself for finding it. 5 days and counting...
I think what I'm supposed to say is thank you, I'm out.

The Good, The Sad, and The Ugly

The Good - 7 (or 5-6) layer bean dip. I have asked this before, but my memories fade rather quickly these days. Ashley has graciously accepted the huge responsibility of providing some dip for the partae. Now, there are varying opinions on what is actually good on the dip. My dip faves are - besides the beans, sour cream, guac, and cheese - onions, and lots of tomatoes. Tyson, I believe you would switch onions for olives (and then puke later). Riley and Colby, I am not sure, but I think we can cater to your dip needs if you let us know by, let's say, Friday morning.

The Sad - I do not live in Mesa, where the sun doth shine continually year round providing ample opportunity to swing the clubs. That's right. I am retiring my clubs for the season. It saddens me not only to know that I will not be perfecting my Tiger Woods like swing, but that I will actually have to clean my clubs too. There is one thing that may bring me out of this depressed state. That leads to the ugly.

The Ugly - Flag football is in full swing at Hillman on Wed. nights and Saturdays. So all you fantasy flag football dorks should pick me up in the first round or you'll be sorry. I am hoping that we can pick up this guy. Just check the focus, determination, muscle tone, and cat-like speed and reflexes. He is the type of player we need to bring home the championship T-shirt.

The Sequel

I know that all of you are dying to know what is happening to ferrets in this world. Well, I am here to keep you informed. You can call me Mr. Skeeter. I thought that I would at least tell/show you of one success story. This lucky and street smart ferret seems to have escaped the clutches of his psychotic owners, but he had a dream. He had a dream to become rich and famous. He went out into the world and made money however he could. Unfortunately, he did it the wrong way. He did not keep his morals in check. See for yourself. Shame

Yes, another video. There is also a Diet Mtn. Dew commercial of a ferret attacking some people that is pretty good. I'm telling you - the blog is called Casey's Media Hub for a reason.

Last, But Not Least.

Here I am. I am entering a new world. A world of power and communication, a world free from seriousness and reality. A world in which spelling does not matter and random thoughts and memories are encouraged. I welcome you into my corner of this new world that is so foreign to me, but so enticing. I will, in celebration, share some videos with you all. I heart youtube. It is awesome. Therefore, I choose to share some awesomeness with you.

First, this is a video of some dude with insane piano skills. No, Tyson, it is not your BFF. He is incredible, but this guy must have made a pact with the devil. The song he plays is called "La Campanella" by Franz Liszt. For those of you that don't know - Liszt was the equivelent of, say, Justin Timberlake. All the hotties flocked to watch him. This video is not for all, just for those that enjoy good piano music. La Campanella

Next, this is a clip from "That 70's Show". I decided that it is appropriate as Halloween is coming up. Fez is trying to comprehend the idea of trick-or-treating. Right at the end he says a naughty B word, though. Sorry. Trick-or-Treat

Finally, the people's elbow. Need I say more? Rock